Characters & Setting

Alister: An anthropomorphic brown and white border collie dog. He has medium-length brown hair with blonde bangs framing his face, and wears large round glasses.

Jess: An anthropomorphic grey and brown pallas cat. They have short black hair, and wear a large chain necklace, an oversized watch, and a fishbone design tanktop.

Setting: A softly-lit bedroom at night, with a strand of warm string lights hanging from the ceiling. A transgender pride flag and a nonbinary pride flag hang on the wall, and two pet cats are curled up dozing on the bed. Alister and Jess are sitting side by side, with Alister drawing on a digital art tablet, and Jess playing a game on their phone.

 

Page 1

Alister looks up from where he’s been drawing on his tablet to ask Jess a question.

“Hey, weird question,”

“(mostly because it’s hard to distill a 3-hour conversation down into one concise starting point)”

“How do you conceptualize your sense of self over time?”

 

Page 2

Alister’s voice narrates the following commentary.

“Think back to a point when you were at a very different place in your life. Take all the things that defined who you were in that slice of time…”

We see an image of a questionnaire, with answers handwritten. The responses indicate that this questionnaire was filled out during late middle school to early high school. The person’s hopes are listed as “be happy/no regrets, to be loved, successful artist, discover magic powers” and their fears are listed as “being the only one awake, tornadoes, growing up, and picking the wrong career.” They mark that they’re somewhere in the middle between being a nihilist and an optimist, are somewhat depressed, and very anxious. They list their priorities as “reply to wolf roleplay post, draw that scene from my story, make gift art for my friends of their characters, confess feelings to my crush, apply for financial aid scholarships, achieve a high enough GPA to get into college.” There are pencil doodles drawn all around the edges of the page.

“…and compare them to now.”

 

Page 3

“Does that slice of time still feel like you, just in the past?”

We see a representation of a cat-shaped figure, extruded back into space as if it were an infinitely-thick game meeple. Flat slices are drawn through the shape at equal distances, cutting it into equally-thick sections. The image implies a continuous cat shape that extends backwards and forwards, with the slices simply passing through the solid shape.

“Or does it almost feel like someone else, separate from who you are now?”

We see a representation of a dog-shaped figure, drawn onto equally-spaced slices that extend back into space. The slices each have a thickness to them. The image implies that the dog is not a continuous shape, but instead exists discretely and separately on each individual slice.

 

Page 4

Jess holds out their hands as if measuring a distance, responding “Definitely the first one. I was still me, just smaller.”

They then ask Alister, “Why, what about you? How do you see yourself?”

 

Page 5

We see a series of slices of Alister at different ages, one as a baby, one as a child, and one now.

Alister narrates: “I’ve always felt like my past selves are different versions of me, which still exist as separate moments in time.”

“For instance, my 13-year-old self was someone who…”

We see a close-up of Alister’s child self, looking lost and alone among an anonymous crowd of happy people.

“…really struggled.”

 

Page 6

“I worried so much about what other people thought of me.”

“I was afraid of being too weird.” Other word choices include earnest, playful, silly, and creative.

We see 13-year old Alister, excitedly sharing their love of wolves with someone. The other person disproves.

“I was ashamed to want attention.” Other word choices include speak up, have needs, take space, and stand out.

13-year-old Alister sits in a classroom, not understanding the material as the rest of the class seems to grasp it easily.

“I didn’t think I was good enough.” Other word choices include pretty, popular, smart, and normal.

13-year-old Alister stands awkwardly beside three others who each have a skill they’re showing off in the spotlight.

“I was so desperate to fit in that I reshaped myself, because I didn’t believe that anyone could like the real me.”

13-year-old Alister is depicted as a square that can’t fit through the round-shaped hole in the wall blocking their path. They cut their corners off in order to fit through and join the cylindrical-shaped people on the other side.

 

Page 7

Alister reaches over to hold Jess’s hand on the bed. “Of course, I’m not as insecure about myself anymore. In large part thanks to you!”

He returns to drawing on his tablet as he continues. “I’m doing a lot of things I would have been too afraid to before, like painting my nails! Experimenting with fashion! Joining an improv class and meeting new people! Opening up to those new people! Sharing my personal art with strangers…”

 

Page 8

We see a depiction of Alister and his younger selves as matryoshka nesting dolls, each one smaller than the last. The dolls’ expressions get gradually happier the older they get.

Alister narrates, “But I can still feel my 13-year-old self’s fear in the back of my mind, and I know that version of me is still in there. Deep down, beneath the layers I’ve grown around them. Like a nesting doll.”

 

Page 9

13-year-old Alister looks in a mirror at their reflection, with present-day Alister looking back.

“That version of me is still 13. I can still feel their fear if I let myself step back through time and become them again.”

We see a close-up of Alister’s tablet, where he’s drawing a sketch of a wolf.

“They were afraid to be themselves in front of others, or even with friends.”

In the next panel, present-day Alister stands behind 13-year-old Alister. They’re both holding sketchbooks containing wolves close to their chests, while anonymous people point fingers and mock them.

“Because what if they were made fun of for it?”

 

Page 10

Jess breaks in, pointing out “Then that would make them shitty friends. And assholes.”

Alister laughs, replying “Haha, yeah I realize that now.”

He continues, narrating over a scene of him and his friends all dressed in costume on their way to an anime convention. “To be fair, none of my close friends ever made me feel bad. But I still feel like I had to hide. Cause I thought if they met the real me, they’d leave.”

 

Page 11

13-year-old Alister snarls at their own reflection in a mirror, spiteful tears in their eyes.

“I was so convinced I was going to be unhappy, forever. I wasted so much time hating who I was, I could never have imagined becoming someone who just…”

They lash out and punch the mirror in anger, shattering their reflection.

“Doesn’t feel that way anymore.”

 

Page 12

They kneel on the ground in front of the broken mirror, crying. Present-day Alister stands on the other side of the mirror, watching them with sorrow.

“That version of me never had the chance to learn that it could get better. That it did get better!”

Alister turns away from his 13-year old self, and we see him surrounded by friends who celebrate and love him. Jess pulls him into a big, smiling hug.

“That it IS better!”

 

Page 13

We see the same slice-of-time representation from page 3, with 13-year-old Alister wiping their tears at the furthest-most slice and present-day Alister at the other end.

“Maybe that’s why I see them as a different version of me?”

Alister crosses the distance to place his hands gently on his younger self’s shoulders, who is still sniffling.

“Because although I was once them,”

He leans down to kiss the top of their head reassuringly.

“They haven’t yet become me.”

 

Page 14

Alister holds up his tablet so his younger self can see. He has finished the sketch of the wolf from earlier, and clicks ‘share’ to post it online.

“It’s easier to picture them, looking out through my eyes, and seeing how beautiful our life has become.”

We return to an overhead view of the bedroom where Jess has leaned over to snuggle against Alister’s side. He has an arm around their shoulder and leans back against his pillow, looking content. His tablet notifies him that people love the art he just shared online.

“It’s cathartic to imagine it that way.”